1) Mind the Gap
This is the phrase I probably here most often here. It's burned in my brain. Every single time a train arrives at a station, the announcers say "welcome to (enter city here) and mind the gap." Which basically means that the train doesn't stop RIGHT beside the platform, it stops a few inches out so when you step off the train you have to take a big step to make it on the platform. It's not even really a big deal and I don't think theres any way you could fall between the train or the platform or anything. But still.. you better Mind the Gap!! The only way I can travel here is by train so every single day I hear that over and over. I'm minding the gap OK?!
Actually as I say this, when I was in Basingstoke the other day, I heard an announcement at the station that said "Attention. There have been ten accidents this year at this station. Please be careful." So maybe those ten people didn't mind the gap.
(but seriously Gabel and I are dying to know what happened at this station that produced ten accidents and a resulting safety warning announcement)
2) Right to left
When you cross the street here you HAVE to be careful. I am so used to looking left first and then right because that's what you do in Canada. Even if you don't realize it, that's what you do. Because that's the way the traffic flows. But it's the opposite here. You have to look right first and then left before you cross the road. You probably don't think that's very hard but trust me it's very hard to undo 23 years of hardwiring to look the opposite way when you cross. I can testify to this because there's so many times I've stepped into the streets looking the wrong way and almost been run over by a car (and one time a bus nearly demolished me).
It's funny because you also have to walk on the wrong side of the sidewalk here. Or even when I go up the stairs at train stations, I have to remember to walk on the left side and not the right side. There's been countless times when I've found myself going against the flow of pedestrian traffic and people are giving me dirty looks and I just want to shout "IM CANADIAN OK! YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE!"
3) They are a big fan of illogical coins
I can't get over how many coins the British have. Canada is so sensible now that we have eliminated the penny. We only have five types of coins. In England they have at least eight coins that I can think of. They have the one pence coin, the TWO PENCE coin (that's right a coin for two cents. imagine a double penny coin), a five pence coin, a ten pence coin, a twenty pence coin, a fifty pence coin, a pound coin and a two pound coin. That's what I've seen so far. And they are not arranged logically in size. The pound is the smallest out of them all. The ten pence coin is the largest. WHY! It's so hard when I try to quickly pay for a taxi on my way to work and I have to scrutinize the coins. I think that maybe with the money the government could save if they stopped producing the two pence coin, then maybe they could bring down the cost of riding the train!
4) Pick a football allegiance
Pick a football team. I'm serious. Englanders will ask you who you support and you better have a good answer. Don't say Portsmouth. Nobody likes Portsmouth, least of all Southampton fans. When my students ask me (which they always do at the beginning of class), I always say Southampton because I live there and Chelsea because that's where my Grannie is from. So far this has garnered me respect and approval but I'm afraid to go to an area that won't find my allegiances charming.
5) Everything closes early!!
I am used to working evenings and staying up late. I most often frequented grocery stores, or any store really, in the later evening hours. That was possible in Ottawa. The Sobeys grocery store is literally open 24 hours and I would find myself there at 11pm. The Walmart in Barrhaven is usually open until 11pm so again, it would not be uncommon for me to run my errands there at 10pm. That is what I am used to. Here, everything closes so early!! A mall in Ottawa would be open until 9pm at least during the week. Most malls here close at 6pm during the week. The huge mall (West Quay) is at least open until 8pm but that's the latest anything closes during the week. All the single shops along the downtown core close around 6pm. My bank back home is open until 7pm so that I can do banking after a day of work. Here, that is unheard of. Every bank closes at 5pm. Gabel and I have definitely been burned a few times trying to run errands. Its especially hard on Sundays when a lot of places close at 4. Sunday is our one sleeping in day and usually in the afternoons we find ourselves doing a mad scramble to try and get to places before the close. It's a big adjustment for sure.
6) Small cars!
I have literally not seen one pickup truck here. Not that I expected to see a lot but I thought maybe one or too. I can also count on one hand how many times I've even seen an SUV. And mini vans do not exist (amen). Everyone drives tiny cars. And I mean tiny! When Gabel and I got here, our real estate agent drove us from the agency to our flat and he had to make two trips because he couldn't fit two girls and some luggage in his car. Plus all the cars are standard. I don't even recognize any brand or model of car. So it's funny to watch everyone whip around tiny streets in tiny cars that I've never seen before.
7) Fashion Attack
Wow the girls look different here. The fashion is different and especially the hairstyles are different. Gabel and I do not necessarily fit in. Nights out at the club mean that girls are going to do weird things to their hair. I can't even explain it necessarily. They are just fond of grabbing random pieces of hair and twisting it, or pinning it up strangely, or having it dyed odd colours. Wearing jean shorts with black nylons underneath is a big thing. Wearing as little clothes as possible is also big thing. As Gabel pointed out "anything goes here." It's true. You could wear anything here and it wouldn't be ridiculous. Standing out is the fashion. There seems to only be one fashion faux pas which I don't understand. I bought rain boots before I left and I love them. They are beige and short and really cute. I would wear them everyday except that people here make fun of me!! They call them wellies here and they always ask me why I'm wearing Wellies. It seems only acceptable to wear them in the dead of winter. Even if it rains, it's not ok to wear them in September. So I get embarrassed to wear them! I just don't understand why it's a fashion faux pas to wear boots that will prevent my feet from getting soaked.
8) The Weather
I find everyone back home is fond of saying that Ottawa and the Ottawa valley change weather quickly. Honestly - you have nothing on England. The best advice we got from the teaching agency we work for is to wear lots of layers. You just have to go out with the general acceptance that at some point in the day you are going to be freezing, at some point in the day you are going to be sweating it's so hot out, at some point in the day you are going to get rained on, and it's also very likely that there will be sunny/windy/foggy breaks. You can't really prepare for it or do anything about it. The weather dramatically changes hourly. When Gabel and I went to Brighton on the weekend we were absolutely freezing at one point and it started raining so we went inside the aquarium and when we came out it was scorching hot and sunny and we were trying to take off layers. I never go anywhere without a scarf or jacket in my bag. One really funny thing I've noticed is that nobody here cares about rain. Its hilarious to watch!! If it starts raining even a little bit, I put on my jacket and pull up my hood. Here, nobody wears hoods, only a small fraction use umbrellas, and nobody wears wellies. Everyone must get so wet and soggy but nobody seems to do anything about it!! It's like they don't even notice they are wearing shorts and running shoes while walking in a downpour. Even the girls don't care if their hair gets drenched. I am a dead giveaway as a foreigner because when I feel the first drop of rain, I'm like "GAAAH, WHERES MY HOOD". I tried it the British way one day and wore little flats in the rain and didn't put on a coat and I got home from teaching just drenched to the bones and I thought "WHAT IS THE APPEAL TO THIS?!"
9) Keep your train ticket!!
If you take the trains here, it is imperative that you don't lose your ticket. First of all after you purchase them, you can't even get to the platforms without inserting the ticket into a gate that will scan your ticket and then open allowing you to enter the platform. After that, people come around on the train to inspect your ticket so make sure that you know where it is. When Gabel and I fall asleep on the trains, we make sure to keep our tickets in our hands so the staff can see without waking us up. Then you think you would be in the clear but you're not. You need your ticket to exit the train station you arrive in. Once again you have to put it through the gates to get scanned so they open and let you get out of the station. It's so weird! I don't know what I would do if I lost my ticket on the train. Would I have to camp out in the station? Hopefully I never have to find out.
10) Different Accents
Everyone sounds so different wherever we go! There's definitely not just one British accent. People on the Isle of Wight sound different than people on the mainland. The further up north you get, the more they sound Scottish. When Gabel and I went to the bar two weekends ago and met that group of guys, they all sounded so different. There was a guy from Newcastle which is very far up north and we had to try very hard to listen extra close to what he was saying because his accent was so much thicker than the guy who was from Southampton.
11) Different regions don't necessarily play nice
I find that in Canada we have a lot of pride as a nation (excluding Quebec). We have the second biggest country in the world but it doesn't matter if you talk to someone in Vancouver or St. John's, they are going to be the proudest Canadian and identify more as a Canadian than as someone from Vancouver if that makes sense. Here it's the exact opposite. I don't find there's much solidarity as a country. There's way more solidarity as a region or city. It's so common to meet someone from Portsmouth who will say "oh Southampton is a shit hole." Meanwhile people in Southampton think Portsmouth is the dirtiest, roughest place. Or people from the north will say that the south isn't really British at all. No matter which city you go to, people from that city think that city is the absolute best and that every other city in the UK sucks in comparison. I've heard a few different people on the mainland tell me that the Isle of Wight is all a bunch of inbred freaks. Meanwhile on the Isle of Wight they tell me to move off the mainland because it's terrible and dirty there. There's such a fierce rivalry from region to region.
12) Geography is not important
One thing is abundantly clear as I encounter tons of different students from different cities every day. They don't know their geography! I don't like to generalize but it really does seem to be a predominant issue. At first it started out when students thought that Canada was in the US (dont worry I always set them straight!). Then I started noticing they were horribly ignorant about Europe and even the UK! Sometimes when students hear me speak they think I'm from Wales or Cardiff (regions of the UK). Then on European Languages Day at a school in Basingstoke last week, I had a girl point to a map of Europe and tell me she couldn't find Scotland anywhere!! I'm like are you insane? She was looking at mainland Europe. I had to try so hard to not be condescending when I told her that Scotland was literally attached to England and a part of the UK. I asked my students today if they knew where Latvia is (the novel we are reading makes reference to it) and NONE of them knew it was in Europe. They all thought South America. The geography of their own country doesn't seem important. As mentioned above, all that matters is their city!!
13) They have different words for things
I remember the unfortunate incident where I learned that the word 'garbage' does not exist here. My classroom was particularly messy one day so I told my students they couldn't leave until they cleaned up all the garbage off the floor. They all sort of looked around blankly and nobody moved. So I kept shouting at them to pick up the garbage or they would be there all night. Still, no one moved. I started thinking in my head that I had a mentally deranged class and that they were all developmentally delayed or something and then the educational assistant in my class looked at me and said "oh do you mean rubbish?" Woops. Yup. As soon as I said rubbish they were all on the floor picking it all up. Of course another big one is that we can't say soccer, we have to say football. Apartment is obviously 'flat'. My kids told me the other day that I have to stop saying 'movies' because it's 'film'.
14) The accents are the least of my worries
Apparently we Canadians pronounce everything all wrong. The Brits are big fans of saving time when they speak. So they shorten a word as much as possible. I'll provide a pronunciation key as example:
1) Salisbury
* The Canadian way to pronounce it = SAL. ISS. BERRY
* The proper way = SOLSBRIE
2) Swanwick
* the Canadian way to pronounce it = SWAN.WICK
* The British way is to take out letters aka = swanICK.
Basically just take every word and shorten it as much as possible to save time. Then you'll be fine!
So that is the rundown on my new country! I love it and all its quirks and every day is a fun adventure.
5) Everything closes early!!
I am used to working evenings and staying up late. I most often frequented grocery stores, or any store really, in the later evening hours. That was possible in Ottawa. The Sobeys grocery store is literally open 24 hours and I would find myself there at 11pm. The Walmart in Barrhaven is usually open until 11pm so again, it would not be uncommon for me to run my errands there at 10pm. That is what I am used to. Here, everything closes so early!! A mall in Ottawa would be open until 9pm at least during the week. Most malls here close at 6pm during the week. The huge mall (West Quay) is at least open until 8pm but that's the latest anything closes during the week. All the single shops along the downtown core close around 6pm. My bank back home is open until 7pm so that I can do banking after a day of work. Here, that is unheard of. Every bank closes at 5pm. Gabel and I have definitely been burned a few times trying to run errands. Its especially hard on Sundays when a lot of places close at 4. Sunday is our one sleeping in day and usually in the afternoons we find ourselves doing a mad scramble to try and get to places before the close. It's a big adjustment for sure.
6) Small cars!
I have literally not seen one pickup truck here. Not that I expected to see a lot but I thought maybe one or too. I can also count on one hand how many times I've even seen an SUV. And mini vans do not exist (amen). Everyone drives tiny cars. And I mean tiny! When Gabel and I got here, our real estate agent drove us from the agency to our flat and he had to make two trips because he couldn't fit two girls and some luggage in his car. Plus all the cars are standard. I don't even recognize any brand or model of car. So it's funny to watch everyone whip around tiny streets in tiny cars that I've never seen before.
7) Fashion Attack
Wow the girls look different here. The fashion is different and especially the hairstyles are different. Gabel and I do not necessarily fit in. Nights out at the club mean that girls are going to do weird things to their hair. I can't even explain it necessarily. They are just fond of grabbing random pieces of hair and twisting it, or pinning it up strangely, or having it dyed odd colours. Wearing jean shorts with black nylons underneath is a big thing. Wearing as little clothes as possible is also big thing. As Gabel pointed out "anything goes here." It's true. You could wear anything here and it wouldn't be ridiculous. Standing out is the fashion. There seems to only be one fashion faux pas which I don't understand. I bought rain boots before I left and I love them. They are beige and short and really cute. I would wear them everyday except that people here make fun of me!! They call them wellies here and they always ask me why I'm wearing Wellies. It seems only acceptable to wear them in the dead of winter. Even if it rains, it's not ok to wear them in September. So I get embarrassed to wear them! I just don't understand why it's a fashion faux pas to wear boots that will prevent my feet from getting soaked.
8) The Weather
I find everyone back home is fond of saying that Ottawa and the Ottawa valley change weather quickly. Honestly - you have nothing on England. The best advice we got from the teaching agency we work for is to wear lots of layers. You just have to go out with the general acceptance that at some point in the day you are going to be freezing, at some point in the day you are going to be sweating it's so hot out, at some point in the day you are going to get rained on, and it's also very likely that there will be sunny/windy/foggy breaks. You can't really prepare for it or do anything about it. The weather dramatically changes hourly. When Gabel and I went to Brighton on the weekend we were absolutely freezing at one point and it started raining so we went inside the aquarium and when we came out it was scorching hot and sunny and we were trying to take off layers. I never go anywhere without a scarf or jacket in my bag. One really funny thing I've noticed is that nobody here cares about rain. Its hilarious to watch!! If it starts raining even a little bit, I put on my jacket and pull up my hood. Here, nobody wears hoods, only a small fraction use umbrellas, and nobody wears wellies. Everyone must get so wet and soggy but nobody seems to do anything about it!! It's like they don't even notice they are wearing shorts and running shoes while walking in a downpour. Even the girls don't care if their hair gets drenched. I am a dead giveaway as a foreigner because when I feel the first drop of rain, I'm like "GAAAH, WHERES MY HOOD". I tried it the British way one day and wore little flats in the rain and didn't put on a coat and I got home from teaching just drenched to the bones and I thought "WHAT IS THE APPEAL TO THIS?!"
9) Keep your train ticket!!
If you take the trains here, it is imperative that you don't lose your ticket. First of all after you purchase them, you can't even get to the platforms without inserting the ticket into a gate that will scan your ticket and then open allowing you to enter the platform. After that, people come around on the train to inspect your ticket so make sure that you know where it is. When Gabel and I fall asleep on the trains, we make sure to keep our tickets in our hands so the staff can see without waking us up. Then you think you would be in the clear but you're not. You need your ticket to exit the train station you arrive in. Once again you have to put it through the gates to get scanned so they open and let you get out of the station. It's so weird! I don't know what I would do if I lost my ticket on the train. Would I have to camp out in the station? Hopefully I never have to find out.
10) Different Accents
Everyone sounds so different wherever we go! There's definitely not just one British accent. People on the Isle of Wight sound different than people on the mainland. The further up north you get, the more they sound Scottish. When Gabel and I went to the bar two weekends ago and met that group of guys, they all sounded so different. There was a guy from Newcastle which is very far up north and we had to try very hard to listen extra close to what he was saying because his accent was so much thicker than the guy who was from Southampton.
11) Different regions don't necessarily play nice
I find that in Canada we have a lot of pride as a nation (excluding Quebec). We have the second biggest country in the world but it doesn't matter if you talk to someone in Vancouver or St. John's, they are going to be the proudest Canadian and identify more as a Canadian than as someone from Vancouver if that makes sense. Here it's the exact opposite. I don't find there's much solidarity as a country. There's way more solidarity as a region or city. It's so common to meet someone from Portsmouth who will say "oh Southampton is a shit hole." Meanwhile people in Southampton think Portsmouth is the dirtiest, roughest place. Or people from the north will say that the south isn't really British at all. No matter which city you go to, people from that city think that city is the absolute best and that every other city in the UK sucks in comparison. I've heard a few different people on the mainland tell me that the Isle of Wight is all a bunch of inbred freaks. Meanwhile on the Isle of Wight they tell me to move off the mainland because it's terrible and dirty there. There's such a fierce rivalry from region to region.
12) Geography is not important
One thing is abundantly clear as I encounter tons of different students from different cities every day. They don't know their geography! I don't like to generalize but it really does seem to be a predominant issue. At first it started out when students thought that Canada was in the US (dont worry I always set them straight!). Then I started noticing they were horribly ignorant about Europe and even the UK! Sometimes when students hear me speak they think I'm from Wales or Cardiff (regions of the UK). Then on European Languages Day at a school in Basingstoke last week, I had a girl point to a map of Europe and tell me she couldn't find Scotland anywhere!! I'm like are you insane? She was looking at mainland Europe. I had to try so hard to not be condescending when I told her that Scotland was literally attached to England and a part of the UK. I asked my students today if they knew where Latvia is (the novel we are reading makes reference to it) and NONE of them knew it was in Europe. They all thought South America. The geography of their own country doesn't seem important. As mentioned above, all that matters is their city!!
13) They have different words for things
I remember the unfortunate incident where I learned that the word 'garbage' does not exist here. My classroom was particularly messy one day so I told my students they couldn't leave until they cleaned up all the garbage off the floor. They all sort of looked around blankly and nobody moved. So I kept shouting at them to pick up the garbage or they would be there all night. Still, no one moved. I started thinking in my head that I had a mentally deranged class and that they were all developmentally delayed or something and then the educational assistant in my class looked at me and said "oh do you mean rubbish?" Woops. Yup. As soon as I said rubbish they were all on the floor picking it all up. Of course another big one is that we can't say soccer, we have to say football. Apartment is obviously 'flat'. My kids told me the other day that I have to stop saying 'movies' because it's 'film'.
14) The accents are the least of my worries
Apparently we Canadians pronounce everything all wrong. The Brits are big fans of saving time when they speak. So they shorten a word as much as possible. I'll provide a pronunciation key as example:
1) Salisbury
* The Canadian way to pronounce it = SAL. ISS. BERRY
* The proper way = SOLSBRIE
2) Swanwick
* the Canadian way to pronounce it = SWAN.WICK
* The British way is to take out letters aka = swanICK.
Basically just take every word and shorten it as much as possible to save time. Then you'll be fine!
So that is the rundown on my new country! I love it and all its quirks and every day is a fun adventure.
This is hilarious and very informative.
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